I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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