i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i barfeds in our rink
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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