wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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