his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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