its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
