What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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