How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
