the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
