On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
