i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
