this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
