let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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