I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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