Midget sex pt 2 tonight
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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