Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just googled if crying burns calories
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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