Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
