His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
