is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
