This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize