that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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