Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
