We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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