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Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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