if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
