literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
