new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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