I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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