weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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