Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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