id be glad to
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Are we still banned from the library?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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