Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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