We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
