with your own penis?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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