Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
