hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
