Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
