I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
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I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize