Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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