ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have tasted many bathrooms
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
