But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
