So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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