it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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