i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
