RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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