Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
