I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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