You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
