We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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