He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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