I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
