Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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