walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
