Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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