fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
