The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
