Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
