It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
