OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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