Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
