We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
