you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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