I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She even gives head with a lisp.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
