I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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