I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
